The Pause

For the last 25 years, I’ve been in a race….constantly running, working toward the next goal…..a promotion, a bigger house, a better car.  It was a good ride. I thrived in the fast pace. I loved the challenge of it. It was the life I had chosen and the only life I’d known.  So when it was announced that my job was going to be eliminated and that my career I’d worked so hard for was changing, it was a little uncomfortable to say the least. 

A couple years ago, before Steve and I even started dating….during our second BFF phase, we had a conversation that started something like, “If you could live anywhere, what would it look like?” Interestingly, we both had a similar picture. It was a little farm house (mine was yellow and his was white). There would be lots of trees and a big front porch to watch the sun rise and set. We would have sunflowers and wildflowers everywhere and of course, a big garden.  It would be in a nice community where people care about each other and maybe even a pond to fish.  And of course, there would be chickens.

It’s funny because we talk about that conversation often.  At the time, it seemed insignificant….like two friends dreaming of what “could have been” or maybe “where I’ll live when I am older”. 

Today, as I sit in my little white farm house drinking coffee, I have been thinking about what this last year has taught me.  There are so many lessons but the biggest has been to take time for The Pause. Sometimes The Pause is big and life changing. And sometimes, it’s just pulling over on the side of the road to watch the sunset.  It’s a skill I’m getting better at every day.

Some people thought we were crazy to “step off”, to move out of the city, buy a farm and do our best to live off the land. Heck, sometimes, I think we’re crazy too.  It’s a risk and it’s going to require us working harder than we ever have. It’s going to require patience and persistence.  In the midst of it, we are committed to practicing The Pause.  We are very intentional about it.

Sometimes, that’s sitting on the swing at the end of the day watching as the sun sets.  Sometimes it’s taking a drive to see the leaves as they are changing colors. Sometimes, it’s going out to sit with the chickens even though all the work has been done in the coop.  Every night we pause as we do our “Moment of the Day” ritual.  And sometimes, it’s a Pause that lasts a year as you remodel a house, start a business and move to the country.

I’m thankful for my journey. I have no regrets. I’ve learned so many things and I’ve made meaningful connections with so many talented and amazing people.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to live on this beautiful land in a crooked house (come visit us and you’ll see what I mean) with chickens, rabbits, goats, pigs, dogs and cats. I’m thankful for my amazing husband who has given me permission and encourages me to practice The Pause. I’m thankful for my daughter who challenges me and inspires me daily.  I’m thankful that I’ll get to live out a different kind of Pause (the Meno kind) here on this farm. I’m thankful for my family and friends who are supporting us through this journey.  And most importantly, I’m thankful for the opportunity to practice The Pause.

Now I think I’ll go finish my cup of coffee and listen to the rain as it falls on the tin roof.

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  • I love you so much. You are the light that pierced through my darkness and the song that filled my silence. My life began when I started loving you. -Steve

    Steve Grappe
    Posted April 4, 2019 at 1:05 pm
  • Beautifully written! I’m thankful this is where you are practicing The Pause 💙 we are blessed to have you in our community.

    Sheelah Biniakewitz
    Posted April 4, 2019 at 2:40 pm
  • So happy for you! – Kelly H.

    Kelly Hearne
    Posted April 4, 2019 at 3:21 pm
  • Thank you for inviting us to Pause with you. Thankful for friends with kindred spirits.

    DeeDee Moline
    Posted April 5, 2019 at 3:46 am
  • Congratulations on having the courage to take that big step. It sounds like your dream is working out quite well, and now you will never need to wonder "what if," because you are actually living your dream. There’s a saying: What would you do if you were magically guaranteed that you would not fail?

    Erich Vieth
    Posted April 7, 2019 at 10:00 pm
  • This is a great reflereflection and a good reminder to practice tbe pause!!

    Posted April 10, 2019 at 3:15 am
  • I’m pausing @this very moment….SO PROUD OF YOU!

    Dusty England
    Posted April 12, 2019 at 3:08 pm
  • Love you guys!! You are a wise lady…I know where you get that from 😁. Can’t wait to visit your little white farmhouse!!

    Posted April 14, 2019 at 2:51 am

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