Life is hard. Stuff happens.
I say stuff because we try to be family friendly in our writing, but we all know what the word I really mean when I use stuff.
When you are little, you never had dreams of cracked vertebrae. Colonoscopies don’t find their way onto your short- or long-term goal list. I can even bet that having teeth pulled wasn’t anywhere near a bucket list written by anyone reading this blog.
Yet, this is the reality of stuff you must deal with in life. In reality, adulting includes more surgeries, funerals, check engine lights, laundry and lawncare than beaches, traveling to Europe and candle-lit dinners.
I have known since the day my beautiful wife said yes to giving our relationship a try that I would forever be included in the small group of homo sapiens that Ben Folds sings about in his song, “The Luckiest”. As we began discussing our visions of a relationship, we spoke about what we wanted our relationship to feel like and how we wanted to be treated (yes these were actual conversations we had when setting up the expectations for a relationship together). We made clear definitions of what honesty, forgiveness, love, integrity, communication and trust meant to each of us. Then we promised to give 100% of these ideals to the journey we started. That’s how people dream. You envision what perfection can be in your mind.
What you don’t visualize is the hard stuff. Why would you? Nobody wants hangnails and complicated family matters or job loss. You want it to be sunsets and coffee on the porch and Josh Ward concerts. But stuff happens!
If you would have told me that 15 months into my marriage, I would spend two days prepping for gastro-intestinal tests, followed the next day by having a camera run into my insides from both ends of my body, then waking up the fourth day to have teeth pulled, I would have laughed at you. But stuff happens. These particulars were definitely NOT the bucket list items that Kelly and I discussed early on in our relationship. But this week has defined what being married to an amazing, beautiful, caring person is all about.
After being single for 47 years of my life, I hit the partner lottery. I knew I loved this woman with my whole soul, but this week has proven that love has no boundaries. There isn’t an upper ceiling in how far love can reach. She has sat by my side, held my hand, spoon fed me and calmed my nerves when they were standing straight on end. Then she went out and fed the rabbits, slopped the pigs and put the chickens up by herself in the dark of night. She nursed me with my stuff and then went out and dealt with literal stuff. And never once did she stop smiling. Never once did she waver in her strength and never once did she allow an ounce of negative energy to come near us.
So, I guess I just wanted to say publicly to her: Thank You. Thanks for being so incredible and beautiful and loving and honest and caring. Thank You for dreaming with me and our morning coffee and sunsets together. And most of all Thank You for loving me and dealing with all my stuff!